When I left my six-week check-up with my midwife after my first baby was born, one of the things she told me was that I could continue breastfeeding when I got pregnant again. I had not even thought about this because I hadn’t considered how long I’d actually breastfeed my son, and I didn’t know when I’d be ready to be pregnant again.
However, I have now been pregnant twice while breastfeeding. Once was for just a few weeks, as it ended in an early miscarriage, and now I am in the third trimester with my third pregnancy and still going strong with breastfeeding my two-year-old.
Since tandem feeding is not super common, I haven’t met many women who have breastfed during pregnancy. Naturally, there’s not a ton of content online about tandem feeding or nursing while pregnant, either. I feel like a lot of the tandem-feeding content I have seen has romanticized the experience, which is fine, but it can be a bit misleading.
That’s why I decided to share a raw and real account of breastfeeding while pregnant. From my “why” to a trimester-by-trimester breakdown of my journey to tandem feeding, here’s everything I can share about breastfeeding while pregnant.
Why I Decided to Breastfeed While Pregnant
Continuing to breastfeed while pregnant is a very personal choice. However, I got pregnant when my son was about 16 months and again when he was about 19 months. By this point in my breastfeeding journey, I knew that we were in it for the long haul. He was not ready to wean, and I wasn’t either, so I prepared to lock in for tandem feeding.
At eight months pregnant, my now 2+ year old son still nurses to sleep every single night and for almost every nap. He also wakes up several times at night saying, “want boobie milk.” He’s still not ready to wean, and it does not seem fair to force such a big life change on him when life as he knows it is about to change with the arrival of his new sister.
Aside from the fact that my toddler still wants to nurse, I am also very aware of and motivated by the benefits of extended breastfeeding. Although nursing is not his main source of nutrition, it still has the antibodies and immune system benefits. It’s also great for co-regulating and providing comfort.
Plus, he still has nursing teeth (i.e., baby teeth) and his jaw is still developing. Extended breastfeeding aids proper oral development, which means pushing through will probably save me some money on orthodontic care down the road.
Finally, many people have said that tandem breastfeeding is great for sibling bonding, so obviously we need to continue to nurse throughout pregnancy to get to that point.
Breastfeeding During Pregnancy by Trimester
This journey to tandem feeding has evolved from one trimester to the next. Breastfeeding in early pregnancy looked different from breastfeeding in the second trimester and beyond. Here’s a little breakdown of how the experience has evolved along the way.
First Trimester: Breastfeeding in Early Pregnancy
I am not going to sugarcoat it: breastfeeding in the first trimester sucked. At many times, my only motivation for not weaning on the spot was the fact that my toddler is boob-obsessed and screamed when I told him no.
I have said many times that if I could survive breastfeeding in early pregnancy, I could survive anything. It was not a fun time. There were so many times when I had to quickly unlatch my toddler to run to the bathroom to throw up.
When I still had regular milk (before it turned to colostrum), every feed stressed me out because it was like I could feel the hydration leaving my body. I ended up in the ER once to get fluids because I was throwing up so much, and there were several other times I probably could’ve used an IV. I also struggled to eat, so I felt like the embodiment of “pouring from an empty cup.”
Second Trimester: The Sweet Spot of Breastfeeding in Pregnancy
By the middle of the second trimester, my sickness subsided, and my nipples stopped hurting as much. At this point, breastfeeding felt mostly easy again, and I became glad that I did not throw in the towel.
There’s not much to report here other than that at some point along the line, my milk turned to colostrum, so there’s not much of it. I think he was dry nursing for a while because it really hurt, but it eventually corrected itself.
At some point in the second trimester, he also got two of his two-year molars, and that was rough. His latch always gets funky when a tooth is cutting, and it turns into more of a gnawing than an efficient latch. I guess it’s for the best that this unpleasant phase lined up with a more tolerable stage of my pregnancy.
Third Trimester: Nearing the Finish Line
Although nursing in the third trimester has not been nearly as difficult as in the first, there have been challenging times.
The most challenging aspect has been that third-trimester sleep has become tough because I need to sleep in a very specific position to find any semblance of comfort, and unfortunately, that position does not typically accommodate a comfortable latch. If he wants to nurse, I cannot sleep through it as I did before.
If I am not super hydrated or if I’ve had a physically exerting day, breastfeeding comes with awful cramps. We still have a month or so to go, and the cramps have just started to be accompanied by Braxton Hicks (I am 34 weeks at the time of writing this), but I imagine they could turn into real contractions as we get even closer to the end. I will certainly report back.
Something we are working on in the third trimester is boundaries with breastfeeding. I am not trying to wean him, but I am trying to make tandem breastfeeding sustainable. At 25ish months, my toddler sometimes cooperates and sometimes does not. It’s tricky because I am usually trying to instill these boundaries when we are both extremely tired, so I often give in even if I don’t want to at the moment.
However, I am very aware of the fact that I am going to need to shift my focus to my newborn very soon when it comes to sleep and breastfeeding. I am still not completely sure how it will work, but I have started prioritizing my needs (whether that be stretching or changing sleeping positions to one that does not accommodate breastfeeding) rather than giving in automatically. I make him wait a few minutes, and sometimes he falls right back to sleep, and sometimes he waits up for the boob.
Tips for Breastfeeding While Pregnant
Now that I’ve been breastfeeding while pregnant through nearly a whole pregnancy, I have found a few techniques that are helping me get through. Here’s what I’ve learned.
Stay Hydrated
Staying hydrated is an extreme sport in pregnancy, especially when you’re breastfeeding and throwing up daily for months on end.
Unfortunately, water is not enough. You need electrolytes. I typically reach for Lemonade Ultima or Blue Raspberry Ultima. I particularly liked the Lemonade option during the first trimester because sipping it helped my nausea a little bit.
Electrolyte gummies are also good to have on hand during the phases of pregnancy when it’s hard to drink. Of course, you have to drink something to get liquids into your body, but these help if you’re specifically uninterested in chugging a jug of electrolytes.
Once my nausea subsided at about 17 weeks, I also reincorporated tea into my diet. I’ve been drinking an iced blend of peppermint tea and decaf green tea. I make an 80/20-ish blend of the two and cold brew it. I love the taste of peppermint tea, but green tea is supposed to be good for oral health, which feels like a must after months of throwing up.
Red raspberry leaf tea was a staple in my last pregnancy, but this time I’ve decided to hold off until I get closer to 37 weeks (which is the safe point for a home birth) because my uterus has seemed a bit sensitive.
Stay on Top of Your Nutrition
Okay, so this step is definitely easier said than done, but it’s extremely important. I took my nutrition very seriously from the time my older son was born until my sickness from 5 to 19 weeks in this pregnancy made it impossible to eat anything but chicken soup and carbs.
Now at 34 weeks, I’ve gotten back in the saddle as well as I can, but I am paying for the many weeks of poor nutrition with extreme exhaustion because of depleted nutrient reserves. Since I cannot change the past, I am focusing on eating foods that nourish both the body and soul (read: my diet is nutritious, but I am not saying no to a sweet treat).
In addition to eating a well-balanced diet that prioritizes whole foods and getting 120+ grams of protein per day, I have a gnarly lineup of supplements. My ferritin and Vitamin D are very, very low, so those are the main things I am targeting, but I also take a few other supplements.
Here’s what I am taking:
- Magnesium: A staple in my prenatal supplement routine because I’ve experienced firsthand its support for sleep, prevention of constipation, reduction of leg cramps, and so much more; supposed to also be great for oral health during pregnancy when your oral microbiome is wonky and excellent for supporting a healthy pregnancy in general
- Vitamin D: Like I said, trying to save those plummeting Vitamin D levels
- OptiFerin-C: An iron supplement recommended by my midwife that greatly reduced my fatigue within a couple of days of using it (and hasn’t caused constipation!!)
- A women’s probiotic: Attempting to get a negative Group B Strep test in a couple of weeks
- Odorless garlic: Recommended by my last midwife to help with the negative GBS efforts
- B Complex: I started taking this with Unisom every night to help fight nausea, and just never stopped
I stopped taking my prenatal because it made me sick, and I just never started taking them again. However, between my diet and the curated list of supplements that I take to address my specific needs, I feel confident that both the baby and I are getting what we need. That was my approach last time, and I ended up with a perfectly healthy 10-pound baby.
Of course, this is not medical advice. You should only take supplements under the guidance of your OB or midwife, but this is what’s working for me. If your provider does not test vitamin D and ferritin, I suggest asking them to, because from what my midwife has shared and what I’ve read online, these are important markers that are often overlooked even though they can be optimized with the proper support.
Ask for Support
In the spirit of being raw and real, breastfeeding while pregnant has caused arguments with my husband. He has seen how frustrated I’ve become on the nights when the pain was so bad or I was so touched out, being battered by my spawn from both inside and out. There have been several times when seeing me so frustrated has made him feel frustrated, and his response in the moment is “we need to wean.”
We’ve had to revisit these conversations during daytime hours when everybody is better rested and not on the brink of combustion. Those more intentional conversations have given us the space to talk through the value of breastfeeding to our family and my actual wishes (not my 3 AM frustrations).
Ignore the Naysayers
The people in our lives have generally been pretty supportive of my breastfeeding journey (especially once they realized that I was committed to making it work for the long haul). However, my boob-obsessed toddler is very vocal about his love for nursing, and naturally we get some side-eyes when people find out that he’s still breastfeeding when he’s weeks away from getting a baby sister.
If I am being completely honest, I sometimes feel a little embarrassed about extended breastfeeding because I know people think it’s weird. Even though people aren’t directly telling me to stop, I almost always immediately start defending my position when someone innocently asks when I am going to wean him. I’ve had to remind myself that putting my child’s needs first and supporting his development are the priorities, and that even if people judge us, that’s not my problem.
Best of Luck!
At the end of the day, you need to do what works for you and your family. If you’re happy nursing your toddler while pregnant, do it. If nursing while pregnant is miserable to you and you can be a better mom by weaning, do it. But don’t let anybody else make you feel like you need to decide one way or the other.
If you’re embarking on your tandem breastfeeding journey, congratulations! I wish you the best of luck as your pregnancy progresses.
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